How I came to Write, Why I feel Pain

"I was in a bad place when I wrote: (WHY DO I FEEL PAIN ??)

I've been hurting for weeks from the pain in my body the won't go away.
Worried about how I was going to make ends meet with taking time off work to get well with my health. Then Trying to help my daughter, but feeling like no matter what I did it was never right or good enough to please her.
Then angry at her and everyone else because I've been feeling so used, and dumped when I needed everyone to help me.
Because I hurt everytime I tryed to do any type of work, which in return made me really sad and depressed. Making me feel like like was not a good place anymore, and I felt like I was all alone and no one cared about me unless I had something to give them, was feeling really used and not very wanted by anyone.
In return I have become very depressed and didn't know how to make this sadness go away, so I went to see my doctor to get something help me thru this depression, and started seeing a counslor. That was a very bad day when I wrote this for me, I had just started taking the med.
And it made me very out of it, and rummy to where I was sick and just wanted to sleep feel better. Then as I was dealing with my feeling around my daughter and money problems, something else happened that day to make me feel like life just hurt to bad to breath.
I recieved a couple of e-mails, from the man I was suppose to marry a year ago, telling me in a round about way... The women he met last year after we broke up, even tho he has still been seeing me and talking with me since he's been with her. Infact he was just in my bed a few months back, was getting married next moth to this women. As they were expecting in Jan. of next year, telling me all he had left was his memories of us now.
This has really hurt me bad, as I still was very in love with man even tho I knew he was with someone else. I thought he would come back to me if I just waited, because we had been together for over 4-years and were to of been married at that time in a few months. But because of my fears I broke it off with him, instead of trying to talk out things with him, I expected him know what I wanted him to do to prove my love.
And I lost him to someone his family set him up...And it hurt me, and still does.
I guess I don't understand why I can't let go of him in my mind and heart...The pain is so hard, I feel like I'm dying.
So in my pain ...Yes I wrote this, to help me express to myself what I was doing wrong and what I need to do to fix me.
I was fighting with the pain of my body hurting and the pain in my heart from loosing my one true love, fighting with my feelings about my job, and fighting with my daughter & my soon to be daughter in-law.
I was falling apart quickly and not even my own child could see be-on herself to hold me up and hold me to feell I was needed and loved.
I was falling apart and crying out in pain and know one care or even saw I was in need, and that hurt me some much.
I never understood depression, I don't think anyone does...till you walk in the dark shadows alone.
So I yelled said things I shouldn't of, to people I cared about, than came in and sat down and wrote this, on what I was feeling.
As you will read below in my blog titled:"

Why do I feel Pain ??

"As anger, disappointment, and frustration wander into my mind. Only to finally understand, to my realization that looking to any fearful thought or feeling for a sense of self, is like asking a ghost to show me the way out of a haunted house.

Which brings me face to face with the most difficult question of all...

Why does pain and saddness, always find me..

I ask myself, as if I had no blame to how things turned around in my own life, to cause me this saddness.
But then I tell myself, in one of my self talks I find I need to hear.
If I don't think about my thoughts and feelings, if I don't find a direction from them, then how and from where will I know to take my next step in my life ?I need to learn to let go of the past pains, and sad things that happen. Even if it was a second ago, because it's making me feel sad andworthless.
So I tell myself I need to let GO..
I say within my own thoughts, in order to repair my mentally pain, so that something new can happen for me.
This, I tell myself..
Can only happen for me, when I learn to finally let go of my lost hopes and dreams, I've been hanging on to for so long.
I need to accept it's not there anymore, what I thought I should have or wanted.
That I will no longer be able to go back in time to try and win it back, because something or someone changed that, and I'm no longer a part of that path, it has broke away to start a new path without me.
This new action cannot be un-done by me or anyone else, I'm to late and it's no ones fault.
I need to really take my own insight and look at who is really making me sad, sick, tired of always being angry and tense..
ME, no one else, I am the only one who control what hurts me or makes me happy...Me.
I need to learn and allow my inner thoughts, to prepare me for what I need to see about myself.
In order to set a path to freedom from all frustrations I allow to enter my mind and life..
To begin with.. I need to suck in all the tears, and whatever else I find me doing, at whatever the personal cost is
I need to tell myself I REFUSE !!... to be self-pitying to me, anymore.Then I need to start over, right from the beginning. What-ever that may be, or wherever that may take me.
There is no power on earth that can stop you, if you believe in yourself with this intention and act to make you a better person.Next, instead of falling into despair and sorry for myself over my losses.
I need to deeply look inside my head and heart, to find what it is inside of me, that makes me feel I am not worth very much today.
Or whatever else my thoughts are saying to me, then get busy to learn to stop what I am doing to myself.When I feel hatred towards anyone, or anything. I destroy the one who hates, me.
I need to learn to let go of my resentments, and see all I'm doing is burning myself up with wasted anger that could be put to better purposes, for me.One of the biggest problems I have is getting connected to the behavior of others, which really has nothing to do with them at all, but about me.
I tend to look in the wrong places for love, and people I feel should be in my life.
Then when people betray me, the great pain I experience don't have so much to do with their actions. As it does with what the blow of what they did to my hopes for real love, finally.
The pain of my disappointment, grief, and so on...
Is mostly that of realizing, I have once again been looking for something permanent in the temporary, lane of life.Going through un-happy times, and discoveries will lead me to certain things. That does not mean I have to give up, on love.
But must learn to let what life is trying to teach me, do just that.
Not wanting the lesson won't make it go away. All that really happens is the pain of it will grows worse, and worse, until I really blow up. One day and walk away from the situation.
Only to find out I've really changed nothing, because all along the problem was in my head waiting for me to stop and begin understanding.
The hardest thing for me to do in any time of trouble is, to ask someone to tell me.... The TRUTH, to show me what I need to really see.
But I need to do it anyway, to grow into better person for myself and others!
Because, I do have friends and family who care about me, even if at this time I feel I don't, and they do need me in their life's as I do them. So I do need to change my thinking."

Sexually Satisfied?

"I recently heard about a couple in their eighties who were in counseling for sexual issues. It's a true story!!

He was complaining that his wife wasn't giving him the type of sex he enjoyed.

Sex is such an important part of a relationship between couples. It is something that needs to be kept exciting and satisfying for both partners.

Without sex and having fun in bed, your relationship becomes mundane and business-like.

Sex is the only unique feature of couples designed to bring pleasure and intimacy for a lifetime.

An older women from the northeast. Who was in her sixties and complained that her mate had erectile dysfunction and wasn't meeting her sexual needs. When she confronted him about the problem and asked him to get medical treatment that would have easily cured the problem, his response was, I'm O.K., I'm happy just like we are.... She was devastated.

Obviously her mate was an insensitive and selfish man. I guess he thought his feelings were the only ones that were important.

I like what Dr. Phil says regarding sex. He says, If you don't think sex is important, just ask the person who isn't getting any or not happy and has to use something (pill-form or tools to enjoy sexual pleasure).

The typical scenario of sexual frustration is that of a man who wants more sex than his mate wants to give him.

Women need to understand that their male mates normally need more sex than they do!!

Just as they want their mate to meet their needs in a sacrificial and sensitive manner, they need to do the same for their man in the area of sex.

Generally speaking, men have the need for sex and women have the gift of sex. They need to give that gift generously !!

It's essential if you want to have a good and lasting relationship with this person you are sexual with and want to be with for more then, a few weeks or months.

Because if you don't have this base between the two of you then...

Sooner or later one of you will leave or cheat on the other, this is bad for both sides if one mate wish's they had someone that made them feel alive sexually.

If this is the case with you and your partner, then it's better to break it off...Now!!

Why drag it out in hopes.. Maybe things will get better if you just wait around a bit longer, in hopes your mate will figure out your not happy.

Or if your in a new relationship under six months or so, and things still aren't getting your motor purring in this area without a pill or tool or you fake it pretending you enjoy their company, then they (your partner) probley don't know and think everything is fine between the two of you.

News flash!!

This is as good as it will ever get between the you of two...Sorry!

Why or how come you ask?

Because in the beginning of a new relationship your sexual fires are the hottest, it's all new with this partner. You both should be having sparks running thru your bodies with just a kiss or thoughts of your partner just being close with you.

If you don't have this...Then it's time to be honest with yourself and your partner, before it's to late and you both end up being in a loveless relationship and bitter.

Because it you, don't have that sexually fire with this person and you have not had a problem with you past partners in the sexual dept. And have been to your doctor (if this is the case then it's no ones fault) but it you M.D. says it's in your head not a medical problem...

So bottom line...If you're truely not happy and avoid sex with your mate and they are the ones always asking, wake-up your missing out on one of life's great pleasures...Life is to short to be sexually un-happy for both of you !!

Men & women do experience a decrease in their level of testosterone as they grow older. This is the main reason for a decreased sex drive.

As a women grows older and lose the fear of pregnancy or if a women is trying to get pregant, she grow more comfortable expressing their sexuality, they often desire more sex, which is good for their mates.

Just as a young man wants his partner to be energetic and enthusiastic regarding his sexual needs, the same holds true as a couple ages.

This is what makes a good relationship when both partners care enough about each other to sacrificially serve each other and meet each others needs.

If this is not the case for you or your mate, and one of you is pretending to enjoying sexual moments with each other. Or if one of you has to (fakes it) or has have to use other means to do the act of making love to hide your real feelings from your partner, then you need to start asking yourself this question don't put it off!

Is your partner sexually satisfied?

Are you sexually satified?

Do you/both of you feel comfortable sharing with each other your needs and desires?

Are both of you willing to meet each others needs even if you don't understand them or share them and be honest about it with each out leaving nothing out on how you both feel and do what ever it takes to make your love-life have spark?

Are you or your partner willing to change if necessary and follow thru even if you don't like doing what they ask of you?

Are you both willing to be honest with yourself and each other?

If you have tryed one or all of the above or you can't be honest with your partner for one reason or another one, you don't see you two working out much longer. Then be honest with your partner or each other is the best way to go for both of you in the end.

Let go move on......

This is the only way both of you will ever be happy, give each other the gift of honesty don't put it off it will only hurt more if you put it off.

Both of you should be allowed to be able to find someone that makes each of you feel good sexually.

One of you is holding on in fear of hurting the other?

Your hurting them and yourself more by having this lie between the two of you, when we hide a problem like this it just makes more problems then everything only get worse.

Your robbing your partner & yourself of the chance to find someone that does make each of you happy, who has the same sexual pleasure connetion with them/you.

We need to honestly with our selfs and our partners, evaluate our attitudes toward sex -past/present/the rest of our live's .

The eighty-something year old couple, I spoke about in the beginning of this....Reminds us, this issue is going to be around for a while.

It's either going to bring us together or keep us apart. And ultimately it will either fulfill us or frustrate us.

Take this issue seriously and work to make sure sex is as important in your life as it should be."

Sexual positions

" - Positions on Missionary -

It’s criminal to outlaw great sex, but several states still have long forgotten laws on the books that do just that. Alabama, Arizona, Florida, Idaho, Kansas, Louisiana, Massachusetts, Minnesota, Mississippi, Georgia, North and South Carolina, Oklahoma, Oregon, Rhode Island, Utah, Virginia and Washington, D.C., consider giving or receiving oral sex a crime.

If you live in Georgia and are convicted of oral sex, you could be sentenced from one to 20 years in prison -- that’s pretty harsh.

Several states also make it illegal to have sex in any position other than missionary.

Well guess I'm going to HELL ..!!"

"Friends With Benefits - Sex"

"- Sleeping With Friends: The Damage it will Do -

There is a curious sub-set of friendship that seems to have become popular of late. It's called friends with benefits. It means, - you're just my buddy, and I'm not really interested in you romantically (or frankly, even attracted to you), but on those occasions when we get really sloshed, or we both end up alone (but together) on a Saturday night, we can boink our brains out and not be weirded out in the morning.


I'm sorry, but I just think it's a cheap cop-out. And what's more, it demeans the friendship, not to mention potential romance. It's like having an escort service you don't have to tip.


And here's a point of view that's going to piss some folks off: I think shagging with any old friend or acquaintance just for the heck of it kind of goes against nature. Here's why:


From an ...Anthropological..Standpoint, our species evolved around long gestation of offspring, and helplessness at birth - (according to Bill Bryson) in..A Short History of Nearly Everything, when our prehistoric precursors developed a pelvis sturdy enough to allow them to walk upright, it also resulted in a comparatively small birth canal, which meant to fit through it, babies would have to be born with small brains and little ability to be self-sufficient. As a result, infants required long-term care, which implies solid male-female bonding. After all, someone has to be getting the food if someone else is staying back at the cave with the kid.



So what does this mean? It means whatever your religious or cultural beliefs, our species was designed to pair up , make babies and stick together to raise them. Messing around for sport serves no particular anthropological need. Although it is fun.


But it's not what we're wired for, really. Deep in our bones, when we have sex, it means something. In our most ancient, primeval memory, it's part of bonding and procreation. It's what we are meant to do.


So as a result, I think there are two things wrong with - friends with benefits:


1. It's really, really hard to stop yourself from having feelings of belonging or (possession) about people you've slept with (more than once). Even the coldest Don Juan is going to feel some sort of privileges or power over a woman he's been with multiple times. And I think for women, it's even more so. We find it even more difficult to detach our hearts from our southern hemispheres.


A one-night stand is one thing. When the planets are properly (or improperly) aligned, stuff happens. Things seem like a great idea. A couple of cocktails with a shot of moonlight and a slow-dance chaser, and the next thing you know, your underpants are inside - OUT!!



But if you keep dipping into the same well again and again, you're bound to feel some ownership or sense of belonging. It can't help but change the friendship. It will either develop into something more (whether you want it or not) or one of you will feel hurt or strange when the other embarks on a -REAL ...Romantic relationship. The chances of two people being able to balance a perfect equilibrium of neutrality are slim indeed. If you both insist it's truly a friendship -- with extras -- I have a sneaking suspicion someone (or two?) is either feeling a lot more, or a lot less, than willing to admit.


2. Relegating intimate sexual contact to just -- benefits -- cheapens and degrades a most wondrous form of expression. If it's --JUST - SEX -- with one person, how do you flip the switch and turn it into something more with another?

And why turn your great friend into a convenience?

Don't you value the friendship more than that?

Or the person?

You say you care about each other as friends, but obviously not enough to make a real commitment -- or worse yet, be seen together in public as a couple. But when you're stuck together watching some lousy rerun on Showtime, you'll go at it like rabbits. What a deal. You don't have to pay for a date, worry about calling the next day or even dressing up.

I know it's not a perfect world, but in a perfect world, sexual intimacy is an expression of love and caring between two people, and just one part of a deep, respectful relationship. I also know that very often it isn't the case. But the closer you get to that goal (on a consistent basis), the happier you will be. On the banquet table of life, trying to make sex just one a la carte selection with a friend or passing acquaintance may seem appetizing, but it won't quell your hunger long term.


In my opinion, casual sex with friends is the doughnut of romance. You may think it's tasty now, but you'll pay for it later...

Myself, I have always said once you have sex with someone no matter who they are. It changes, how you and, that person feels about each other..Least in my mind your no longer friends...Sexual bonding reguires a feeling to do this act!! (least for me) -- You've moved to the next step with them....Lovers!! "

Bringing in the New Year

" Well everyone I hope you made you list of all the things you are going to do different in 2007 !!

Myself don't really see the big deal in wishing in the new year...

If you think about it...Most people end up BROKE !! Because they spent to much money they didn't have trying to impress others with a party or gift they couldn't afford.

Or they drink to much and do something stupid like have sex with someone they would never even talked to before this night, because they didn't want to be alone on this one special night...

What so special it's like any other night, just everyone makes a big deal out of it because we're starting a new year in hopes that the next year will be better than the last one...Here's wishing...Throw your money my way I could give you the same odds..

Yes maybe I am a bit more bitter this year, but I'm sick of watching others from the side lines all the time.

Waiting for Mr. Right to pop up in front of me!!

Or win the Lottery, or maybe if I am good to others someone from above will bless me with a better life than what he gave me!!

We you know what its all a fairy dream that helps us to make it thru...To keep hoping some thing better is just around the corner.

WELL...It's NOT!!

We are given life and nobody says it will be good or bad, that is just the luck of the cards if you have a good day...Enjoy!!

So I say Happy New year to all you people who are looking for a better life than what you have...Be happy with all you got now and anything else won't feel so bad...

As for waiting around for that big ole ball to drop in New York at midnight...Well

Not my thing this year...Will be in bed my the time the news hits the TV, so I can work on making my life better than it was yesterday and last year..

My goal this year??

To finally spring clean my house the way I want it to be, and get my kids to finally support themselves and move out on their own!!

And if I have any money left for me after this...Maybe take a trip and meet a lot of sexy nice rich old men...lol

Sorry just dreaming again...

Good night..

Christmas What It Really Means

" I want to wish you a very Merry Christmas, hope you have a wonderful holiday with your family and friends. At this special time, I want to remind you of the gift of God's grace.
Jesus came as a gift of grace into the world. The basic meaning of grace is the unmerited favor of God. I've heard some people describe grace with this acronym:

G - God's

R - Riches

A - At

C - Christ's

E - Expense

Mercy means we don't get what we deserve.

Grace means we get what we don't deserve.

Jesus came to reestablish the intimate relationship with God that Adam and Eve had in the Garden of Eden that sin broke.

Not only did Jesus come to mend the relationship, He came to break the curse of sin and bring back every blessing that was lost.

Those blessings include health, financial blessing, intimacy with God and each other, spiritual authority, eternal salvation, freedom from the bondage of sin, etc. We don't deserve any of these things, but because of the life, death and resurrection of Jesus they have been made available for us.

Not because of our righteousness or anything we've done, but because of the righteousness of Jesus and His death on the cross, we have been made rich in Him. Our sins are forgiven in Him and all we need is available by grace through our faith in the finished work of Jesus.

Why do we celebrate Christmas?

It's because Jesus is the best thing that ever happened to us!!

He came as God's best gift to the human race and He has made available God's best for us all by grace.

If we had to deserve it it wouldn't be worth celebrating because none of us can merit God's blessings not even the best of us.

We celebrate the birth of Christ because we have a Savior. Not some distance, impersonal Savior who can't understand us. Jesus is a personal Savior who lived like us and was tempted in every way we are, yet without sin. Therefore He is a merciful and understanding Savior.

Maybe you're facing a significant personal problem right now.

Maybe you're discouraged or even depressed because of a setback you've experienced.

Maybe it's a physical problem or even a financial problem.

Maybe it's a family issue or even all of the above.

Let me remind you about the gift of God's grace.

We don't have to work our way to heaven to get it.

No, God came down to earth to give it to us in Jesus.

He wasn't born in a palace or a special place apart from the common man.

He was born in a barn. His first cradle was an animal feeding trough.

He understands and meets us where we are now.

God's grace is available for you to forgive your sins...even the worst sins.

His grace gives you a new life to restore your health, your family, your finances, and your relationship with God so you can go to Him with all of your needs.

Grace makes every blessing of heaven available for us freely by faith in the grace of Jesus.

Pray and believe God for His best for your life. Don't give up on Him or take your eyes off of Him.

He loves you and believes in you.

He will never leave you or forsake you.

As you celebrate Christmas, don't forget about grace.

It's what makes Christianity different than every other religion...and Jesus better than any other savior.

Think about something... If Jesus hadn't ever been born their wouldn't even be a christmas!!

This day is to HONOR....him.

As you see for yourself......CHRIST-MAS........ his name is the word.

So just a reminder....It don't matter what others say or think, as long as you believe in him and remember him on this day.

Merry Christmas & May God Bless You."

A bit of Christmas thought for all year

" Found this while surfing the web and wanted to share it with you hope you like it, if so pass it on to someone else you feel it may help or make feel good, may all you trouble leave you as we start a NEW YEAR...Read Below>>>



For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life." John 3:16


The key to every successful relationship is the giving of ourselves. This is especially true in covenant relationships such as our relationship with God and with our spouse. John 3:16

Describes how God demonstrated His love toward us by giving of His Son sacrificially. He did all of this to restore and establish a relationship with us.

I sat with a man once whose wife had left him. This man was extremely wealthy. He and his wife had everything—and I mean everything! He was deeply grieving over the fact that his wife had moved out and was talking about divorcing him.
As I talked with him about what he needed to do, he kept mentioning in the conversation the things he intended to buy for her if she would come back to him. Over and over I kept stressing to him that it wasn't the lack of things that caused his wife to leave it was the lack of him.

He was a driven, workaholic man who was away from home constantly and distracted when he was at home. I had already spoken with his wife before I talked with him. She told me she was fed up with taking second place to everything else in his life. He, on the other hand, couldn't understand why she was unhappy. As he said to me, "I have given her everything any woman could every want." Everything, that is, except himself...(think about this could this be you?)


Just a few days ago I consoled another man whose children had accused him of never being there for them. He literally wept as he talked to me about it. According to him, he had always worked hard to be at home and he regularly attended his children's sporting events and other activities.

As I talked to him, it was obvious that he was a very caring father. It was also obvious that he confused his physical presence with his emotional investment. You see, it doesn't matter how present you are if you're closed off and emotionally stoic. Undemonstrated love is the same as no love at all. Even though we may say to ourselves.

"If they only knew how much I love them..." they are saying, "Why don't they ever tell me they love me."

I'm thankful that God didn't send gifts on the first Christmas. I'm glad He sent Jesus. Even today, God is totally committed to the relationship with us and sacrificially gives of Himself. Of course, God also blesses us in physical, material and monetary ways. These things are really important. However, God doesn't give in that manner as a replacement for His personal investment to us, He does it as an extension of His relationship with us and love for us.


At this time of the year when commercialism runs rampant, we must understand that our love or happiness can't be bought or sold with material things. The essence of our lives is found in relationships and they thrive on personal investment. Even though we give presents to each other at this time of the year let's remind ourselves that these aren't replacements for us they are representations of us.


Bonding or Friendships are the deepest human relationship on earth and it mirrors our relationship with God. (Ephesians 5) As God demonstrated His love by giving of Himself we must do the same.

Have you invested of yourself in your spouse, family or friends lately?

Have you become lazy or taken them for granted?

Do you try to use things too much to show your love?

Do you outwardly demonstrate the love you feel inwardly?

Be like God. Show your love by giving of yourself, the greatest gift of all that you can give anyone your care and love for them.

MAY THE LORD BLESS YOU AND KEEP YOU SAFE......MERRY CHRISTMAS & HAPPY NEW YEAR !!

Wisdoms Of Life

" You will never look at a cup of coffee the same way again. A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved, a new one arose.

Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to boil. In the first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil, without saying a word. In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners.

She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl. Turning to her daughter, she asked, ...Tell me what you see...Carrots, eggs, and coffee, she replied.

Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. The mother then asked the daughter to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard boiled egg. Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma.

The daughter then asked, What does it mean, mother? Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity: boiling water. Each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened. The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water. Which are you? she asked her daughter.

When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond?

Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?

Think of this: Which am I? Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?

Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and hardened heart?

Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor.

If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you. When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest, do you elevate yourself to another level?

How do you handle adversity?

Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?

May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human and enough hope to make you happy.

The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything, they just make the most of everything that comes along their way. The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past, you can't go forward in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.

When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling. Live your life so at the end, you're the one who is smiling and everyone around you is crying.

You might want to send this message to those people who mean something to you those who have touched your life in one way or another, to those who make you smile when you really need it, to those who make you see the brighter side of things when you are really down, to those whose friendship you appreciate, to those who are so meaningful in your life.

It's easier to build a child than repair an adult....This is so true.....May we all be COFFEE. "

CHRISTMAS - The Financial Strain - Is This You

"As Christmas draws near, it is actually one of the most dangerous times for many people more so than any other time of the year. Even though Christmas should draw us together around the reality of Jesus Christ and His presence in the world and our lives, it often doesn't. The reality for many of us is that Christmas produces a financial tension that overshadows the happiness of the holidays and creates long-term problems that last well into the new year.

I believe from what I have seen in my life and in alot of my friends also, financial pressure is one of the most dangerous forces people face. The beginning of almost all financial problems is when we are tempted to spend beyond our means.

Today, credit card companies, department stores and merchants of all kinds are making it easier than ever for us to buy what we want. Without discipline and forethought, we can easily get ourselves overcommitted and then face bills we can't pay. This always creates tremendous tension on you and how you view your own every day life.

This fact should sober all of us up to the dangers of overspending. As you enter into the holiday season, I hope you are able to purchase some special gifts for those people you care about. It's okay to do this every year, as we all enjoy giving and receiving gifts. But we all need to have certain rules that keep the holidays enjoyable and keep us from financial problems.

First rule is:... Christmas is about Jesus. Make sure that Christmas isn't just associated with getting something but is focused on the birth, and who he was and why he was born. Christmas is really the celebration of gift giving to each other as a extension of our worship of his birth to remember him, it's like when give some one a gift at their birthday any other time of the year, but at this time it's about the (Birth of a child in memory of him).

Another rule:...Don't !! compromise yourselves financially. It's okay to have arrangements with certain relatives, or friends where you all understand that you aren't going to be buying for each other or if you do, each of you will be giving each other only $$ money free-token gifts example: (Adopt a family together, clear a debt they owed you, free babysitting, house-cleaning, yard-work, nice get-together with each other or just a simple card are all great gifts from the heart. You don't have to feel cheap just feel good about what your doing for others,
I believe the thought is what counts most—not the amount that was spent.

Lets talk about just everyday life for a second, over the years that having too much debt robs the joy of anything you have ownd or have purchased right! It's like buying a house you can't afford, long after the excitement of buying it has worn off the pressure of making the payments lingers. That pressure can be overwhelming and negatively affects everything else in life.

WARNING STOP!!..Before you charge up your credit cards or sign up for some of those (no-payments, no-interest deals), think about the future implications of what you are doing to yourself for the next many months, can you really afford the extra payments ??

Can you really afford these payments without putting stress on your personal life and budget? Do you really need to get these things now? Is Jesus at the center of your Christmas or have you gotten swept up in the commercialization of the season or guilt ?

I don't want to sound like a Scrooge. I love buying gifts for people I care about even those I don't at this time of year!! I enjoy receiving gifts at Christmas, just as much as the next person. I'm sure you also enjoy Christmas in this way as me. But ..I'm just encouraging all of us to keep Jesus first and be careful about debt and overspending, long after the gift giving is over I promise you others will remember you for the good things you did for them MORE. Then some gift that you over-paid for (out of guilt)that sits in the back of their closet forgotton.

I'll leave you with this thought:.. A few Christmases ago I watched someone give a very nice gift to one of their children. They were thrilled the parents had their video camera rolling as the child opened it. They were obviously more excited than the child. He ended up ignoring the toy and played with the box for hours. Expensive box ...Huh! "